My, that was a wordy cut tag. Anybody still here? Anyway...
So, I'm pretty sure I'm not entirely straight. I don't think that comes as much, if any, of a surprise to a number of my friends (uhh, Emmy and co and my UM buddies in particular). I'm also pretty sure I'm not a lesbian... you know, with the whole attraction to guys thing. But I don't know if I'd label myself bi, exactly.
I don't remember when exactly I first came across the idea, but pansexuality sounds about right to me. Pansexuality, for the link phobic, is the potential for attraction regardless of gender identity or biological sex (basically quoted verbatim from the wiki page). Aw hell, just read the damn page. It's not that long.
But anyway. I don't really feel like I'm "outing" myself to you guys or anything, although I guess I technically am. (Am I?
It's also nice to talk about it somewhere. Not that I feel that I couldn't talk about it irl with... oh, pretty much everyone I'm close to, but I'm kind of organizing my thoughts here. (So if I've made some sort of faux pas here, please tell me. I dunno what it would be, but you never know right?
...But keep in mind that all of this is theoretical because I've never had a boy/girl/otherfriend or been on a date or anything... y'know, ever. Woe is the virgin Scorpio. D:
So, that was kind of long. I do hope somebody actually reads through it, 'cause I'd kind of like to talk about it a bit to help articulate my thoughts more clearly.
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profsparky- Maxfield Stanton's not my real name!
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Charity and I were talking about this (not your particular case, but rather how we felt about different attractions, etc.) to some extent the other night
you know, going to the Gay Pride Parade got us thinking.So while I'm not completely biased as to your feelings since we've talked briefly about it before, I would say that pansexuality, if there is any label out there, would be closest to defining me and, from what it sounds, you. And LJ is totally the place to ramble and figure out how you feel, so feel free to do so in response to my essay of a comment. XD
Hooray! Somebody read it!I was gonna quote a couple of good bits and :D at them, but I'll be more efficient and say :D to the whole comment. So :D.
...I'm pretty sure I rambled about this at some point before, but meh. I think one of the things that got me thinking about this was that Law and Order: SVU episode where the guy was unknowingly dating an pre-op MtF. He found out and freaked out majorly (I think he eventually ODed and killed himself. idk). And I... did not understand it at all. Well, I get the trust issue aspect of it, but not the total 180. I mean, still the same person and all. Idk.
Haha, I've been up all night so I'm a bit out of it, so... if none of this made any sense, then, uh, none of this made any sense. XD
Ahaha, two out of three again! XD What's the 2/3 count now?Hooray for musings on sexuality.
And I totally understand the label thing. The way I see it is that, even though a lot of people pay lipservice to that "Don't label me!" thing, the truth is, when you have a label (and by that, I mean a label you give yourself), you can look to others who also claim that label as your peers, and everyone needs to feel like they have someone to connect to, even if they are individualists.
(Am I? Charity, help me out here)
LOL. Well, you know that I usually go the "Oh, didn't you know? Well, moving on!" route, but I've also done a ~*~Coming Out~*~ post in the past, too, and the difference is pretty negligible, actually. I mean, you're sort of always outing yourself, even if you are "Out," since most people see Het as the default. Seriously, sometimes it's like people will accuse you of being in the closet if you just neglect to mention it in a conversation. It's like, "Should I be wearing a sign on my chest?"
(And, PS, who cares if it's theoretical? No one expects straight people to say they might be gay until they date/sleep with someone of the same sex, you know? Your feelings are totally valid.)
Yeah. I tend to not fit into groups very well. It was a really great feeling to read about pansexuality and do the "hey, I think that's me" thing. Labels can be incredibly useful and unifying... when they're not being forced on you. Choosing a label for myself gives me this odd rush; it's like when I say "I'm ____" I'm saying "I'm something! I exist! :D" in a way. Does that make sense?
Lol, am I a pitiful nerding nerd for saying that?*sings*I'm comin' out! I want the world to knooooow! Got to let it shoooow!
*cough* Sorry, had to do it. XD
Well, it's theoretical because I haven't tried any of it out yet. I know I'm attracted to guys, cuz I have been before. I dunno how attracted to girls I am, beyond "o hot". And so on. This part keeps making sense in my head, but not when I type it. Boo. As an odd, TMI aside (well, it probably won't bother you, but warnings are nice anyway) all of the sex dreams I've ever had featured women (except for one, but it doesn't really count, because it was a pre-sex, fade-to-black deal. It also involved Naruto characters, lol.). I wonder what that means...
Also, thank you for reading and replying! All the replies to this post so far have felt like I'm being hugged. It's nice. :)