Dear World,

Please stop asking me what I want to do with an English degree. I know that about as well as I know Russian. Also, if you keep asking me how school's going, I will be forced to actually tell you, instead of making up stories so you won't feel bad. Yes, I am giving up a full scholarship. That should tell you something, shouldn't it? Oh, but you're not supposed to let on how miserable you are to anyone except the very closest people in your life. Otherwise you're just whining. Right.

Yes, I know that asking me about school is really the only safe question to ask a 20 year old. Allegedly. Maybe you could ask me about my hobbies or something instead, idk.

Whatever,
Me

P.S. I wonder how many bricks would be shat if I let on that I'm considering something besides college...?

"As nice as whatever you're watching/listening to must be, 10pm (and later) is not the time to share it with your neighbors.
Thanks. :)"

That's the note I just left my obnoxious neighbor. You know, the one who gets on my case everytime I make noise, and yet she makes all kinds of racket.

I think the smiley face at the end really makes it.

Oh lol, from Gintrelle (aka CrazyCrazy):

Quizzes are silly; quizzes can be fun. If you take one and like it, send it to someone!

Don't ask. Trying to get into a mood. Got an assignment for 306. (Sad sigh)

Take the political ideology quiz. There should be something on the home page about me having taken it. I got "very conservative." That I do not dispute. On the contrary, I am quite proud of my beliefs. But then I had a thought, and I decided to try to see. I think I am the, if not, one to the top five, most conservative people I know. I didn't send this to everyone. Only people who self-identify as moderate or conservative. There are varying degrees of "moderateness". Terry Hughston got "moderately liberal," which would be "center-left" (como Hillary Clinton? Ugh. . . .). Take it. I think it will be interesting to see where I fit in relation to people I know, especially those of you that I see/talk to most. Have fun! (Emphasis mine, of course.)

Uh... have we spoken before? You must not know about me. (I apparently have to quote "Irreplaceable" while I talk about this quiz; I did it on facebook, too.) And yeah, I got "very liberal." *snort* Moderate or conservative.

Also, I am perhaps a little too pleased that I got to friend AE on facebook. (I'm also excited that I'll finally be able to donate some spare cash, when I have it. At least someone on the internet takes paypal! :D )

Heh. Saw Creepy James in passing today (and... yesterday, I think). He was totally going to Rozelle's class, too. He had the same books as I did last semester.

...I kind of hope Rozelle eats him, just because I want others to suffer my pain. And I think it's funny.

I also lol'd quietly today in Crawford's class when Crawford was doing his best not to strangle Hansi. Oh, Hansi.

Also, yay! The nice *coughandprettycough* Old English-speaking woman took the medievalist job! She was pretty rad in her interview/guest lecture thing. (And her names is also Stephanie, haha.)

But you know what's awesome? It's MOTHERFUCKING SONNET TIME in Crawford's class. I love me some sonnets. Hell, I write them occasionally. So yessssss.

Whee. I forgot how much I love having nailpolish on my fingernails. It's a pain to get the stuff on and looking halfway decent, but damn is it worth it when I manage it. It makes my (big ol' Kingdom Hearts-looking, lol) hands look longer and leaner, and delicate in a cool way. I feel purty. Or at least my hands do, lol. What color? Traffic cone orange! :D It stands out from my pale-as-goth skin pretty well. Also, it's traffic cone orange! What's not to love? 8D

In other news, I r teh poet English major. I write teh poems. Well, teh poem singular currently, but still. Yay, it's a sonnet, and yay it's actually about something for once. Usually I just write vague sonnets about the sea. Yeah, I'm strange. (Haha, instead of a woman personified as nature, I write about nature personified as a woman. I'm edgy, or something. Nineteenth century edgy, probably.)


Also also, in reference to my earlier Superjail fangirling, I'm working on some fanart for it. On a giant fucking posterboard. Because I hate myself, apparently. Pics if I ever finish it, lawls.

Aaaaaand I think that's it for now. Other than I'm apparently returning from my self-imposed internet exile, or something. What can I say, January was kind of shitty.

I think I might've done a similar one before on myspace, but I'm bored, so deal with it.

( long survey is loooooong )

Also, first day of classes today. They all went pretty well. My English 305 class looks to be interesting, though as there are.... six of us in there. That's right, six. Never been in a class of less than ten before, so this should be an interesting experience. Oh, and I bought all of my textbooks today. Daaaaaaaamn, I am so glad for my scholarship. I had $400 in books. Also? That's a lot of books, and they were heavy. The guy at the campus bookstore double-bagged them and then as hea handed them over, said "Go with God" in a quietly stunned sort of voice. It was great. XD Also, objectively speaking, he was kinda cute I mean what

And I'd also like very much for this headache to go away. Now. *winces and holds head* Man, I don't even get headaches what the hell.

Well, I'm back at school. :\ I'm not really looking forward to this semester, honestly, mostly because the last one sucked ass. And I... kind of feel like I'm not gonna be able to pull it off again this time. I dunno. It's probably just the caffeine jitters plus my general anxiety at being left alone after spending several weeks in close proximity with other people (whether I like it or not, haha). I'm just... so tired. And... well. Anyway.

I'm not quite done unpacking, but almost. And I still need to get my textbooks (oh god, oh god). Got some notebooks. And shoes (omg shoes). They're purple and glittery and have hearts on 'em. XD

Augh. I just feel... really strange. (Also, Mya? I don't really need to hear your radio. Lololol I belieeeeeve I can flyyyyyyyyy) I'm all jittery. And like I said, kind of anxious. And bored, and lonely. Being by myself in the dorm room always makes me feel kind of weird anyway. Blech. What the hell is wrong with me? Jeez. ...It's probably because I'm just kind of stuck here with my thoughts (and the internet, but nobody's online/available, so still pretty much by myself), which aren't very happy at the moment.

Oh school. Why can't you be over? Meh. At least I get next Monday off. Maybe I'll go home this weekend...

So yeah. By the way, I haven't been avoiding you (you know who you are, I think). I mean, I wasn't up to talking for a couple of days, but now I think it's just that I end up going to bed before you log on, lawls. So... hi. *cough, shuffles awkwardly*

Anyway, I think I'm done. Now I'm gonna go... hopefully not cry. But maybe. Probably. Bawww.

Ugh, either my sleep schedule is violently righting itself, or I desperately need to take some iron. I keep giong to bed at, like... now. It's ten thirty, and I'll probably head to bed after I post this. Lolwtf.

Also! Christina, what do we need for the room? Besides toilet paper. (Also also, I'll be reappearing in the Montevallo area sometime on Saturday, I believe.)

And I haven't really felt like being "on" the past couple of days, which isn't really surprising. I was okay today, though (and so the people I should be talking to are elsewhere. So it goes, eh?)

Ooh! And I did some fanart today. I drew Cooan/Catzi from Sailor Moon R. She's the one with the purple spikey tutu. Hahaha. Why yes, I'm in a Sailor Moon mood, how did you guess? (Black Moon Clan are still hotties, btw)

I hate when I know my friends are upset, but I have no idea what to do or say. I'm sorry C&C, I kind of fail. (But hey, at least this semester's almost over, right? :\ )

In other news, I have one final (sociology) tomorrow, one on Tuesday (French), and then I go home! Fuck yeah!

Fuck yeah! Finished and turned in my paper for English 300 earlier. I am DONE WITH THAT CLASS THANK YOU ASSORTMENT OD DEITIES. Took the German test today, too. DONE WITH THAT CLASS TOO YEAH. Just gotta do the paper for World Lit and the sociology thing tonight and then I can relax.

Ooh, and I can take my sociology final early. Dr. Parker teaches two sections of it, and he said we could come to either exam time. I think Imma take that bitch on Monday and get it out of the way. Hells yeah.

Also, I'm a bit out of it, because I'm running on three and a half hours of sleep and a lot of caffeine. Whoooooooooo

An 8-10 page paper. A 3-4 page paper. A 1-2 page paper. A 5 minute presentation. A chapter test. All of these are this week. Oh good goddamn.


But at least I have chickena Scarecrow icon.

Hamlet is officially nicknamed HamHam. Or Hamtaro. The play is now known as Green Eggs and Hamlet. I am now known as a crazy person, aussi.

Je veux dormir, mais ce n'est pas possible. Parce que les ananas ne parlent pas. C'est vrai. Tout les ananas. Ils ne parlent pas. Merci Ananas, merci. Je ne sais pas si ma francais est bien ou mal. C'est plus tard.

(NOTE: I am tres desolee about the lack of accents in this post, but I'm too lazy to figure it out at this very moment. *shrug*)

Yo soy una Studentin. Ich kenne ein bisschen Allemand. J'ai oublie most of my espanol. Je suis triste. I should be writing. My paper, that is. Bien sur. Alors. Alors.

My name is Lucille, and I know how you feel. :D

Konnichi wa! !Hola! Bonjour! Guten Abend! Sup y'all?

Apparently, HamHam's crazy is contagious. I have no idea what the hell this post is about, sorry. Ich kenne nicht. The door is open. I have quite a bit of outline, as well as some actual paper-text. Perhaps I should go to bed. Hmm. Never gonna give you up/ Never gonna let you down/ Never gonna run around/ And desert you

I think when I'm not paper writing, I'ma writing some crazy!fic, probably of the orig fic variety. I do think the Doc (no I haven't talked about that character or what he's from on here before, don't worry) needs some fleshing out. Or some fleshing at all. Heh. Or or or. Augh, let me not ramble about my orig fic. 'Cuz when I talk it out, I never write it down. No offence, y'all. (Y'all? I swear, I'm not a real Southerner, it's just a convenient word, okay??)

By the way, it's electric! (You can't see it it's electric! You gotta feel it it's electric!) (This song + Megavolt footage = one of the best vids I've ever seen. For srs.)

Okay, that's enough out of me. For reals. (Boogie woogie woogie)

So, it's that time again. Time to register for classes, that is. I can't register at the moment (although I think I'm supposed to be able to? Hmm), but I have my classes planned out.

ENG 234 (Honors World Lit II)
ENG 305 (Brit and Amer Lit I)
FRN 202 (I'm pretty sure this is self-explanatory)
MATH 157 (Intro to Statistics, and lol, the MOG sponsor is teaching it)
POS 200-1 (American Gov't or something)
KNES 117 (Health and Wellness)

So, yeah. 17 hours again. Well, I actually did better when I had more hours (er, apparently), so I'm taking more this time. I'm also trying to make up for dicking around wasting my time in the three semesters of German that didn't get me anywhere. I'm not taking it anymore after this semester. I mean, I was taking it for fun, and it's not fun anymore, so... :P

And yeah, I'm still an English major. My ENG 233 prof convinced me. Hey, as long as I can stay away as much lit crit/theory than as possible, I'll be fine. *still hates book reports*

I should probably get to work on that Hamlet paper, lol. (In... a few more hours.)

Full disclaimer: I'm tired and a bit weepy, so I may ramble/not make any sense

I don't think I want to be an English major anymore. I don't think I can be an English major anymore.

Rozelle's class has made me realize that... I don't like it. I don't like doing literary crit. I don't like writing about other people's stuff. I want to write my own stuff.

And... I've been feeling like this pretty much all semester, but I haven't had any idea what else I could major in.

I hate that class. I mean, a lot of it is interesting, and Rozelle's actually pretty funny. But I hate it. It doesn't mean anything to me. It has no value. And it's what I would be doing for the rest of undergrad, as far as I can tell. And I don't wanna do it anymore. I'm sick of these damn essays and papers about some dead guy's writing. Ugh.

So I've been trying to think of what else I could do. And tonight I talked with my mom about this idea I've been kicking around in my head for a while. I think I want to do some sort of activism/advocacy for the queer community.

And that's so vague, I know, but it's more of an idea than I've ever had for what to do as an English major. And well... I think this is more necessary, if that makes sense.

So, I may need to change majors, but I'm not sure to what. I was thinking sociology, but I don't know. I think I'm going to talk to a prof here in the near future. The one I have in mind is really nice, and should actually be helpful; I also know from some previous conversations that she's queer-friendly, so I can be up-front about my possible new plan.

So... yeah. Thoughts?

I hate people, school's trying to eat me, and I'm hungry, tired, kinda lonely, and kinda bored. Also, I'm sick of nitpicky and/or pretentious college students. I'm sick of The Inferno and the ignorant class discussions it inspired. I'm sick of feeling like I'm invisible.

On the other hand...

I love my friends, I love the college atmosphere, I love most of my classes, I love college shenanigans. I really like intelligent discussions/debates, and college has those in spades. We're done with The Inferno, and I didn't even have to read all of it! I'm making even more friends this semester. I'm doing some of that college self-discovery, and it's pretty awesome.

Also, 50s Girl? You really do talk too much in class, and are kind of a know-it-all. But you know what? You're actually really nice to talk to one-on-one most of the time. Also, you're kinda cute, lol.

Happy slightly belated National Coming Out Day! In case anybody missed it, I'm pansexual. :D

Btw, UM buddies, just so y'all know, I'm not coming back until tomorrow morning. Uncle Carl's visiting for the weekend, and Mom and I are going to drop him off at the airport at fuck o'clock tomorrow morning, and then head on down to school.

In other news, I saw Emmy on Friday and we did some shopping, mostly of the window variety, lol. I got a couple of things, but I'm not going to say what they are until I've had a chance to show a couple of y'all in person. (I got something very lulzy! :D )

Also, what the fuck is up with lemon pie that's... not lemony? You know, the kind that's really sweet without any tart/sour in it. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of lemon pie? :P

Oh! And when Emmy and I were out and about, we saw Alice! :D :D That's exciting 'cause we haven't seen or heard from her since graduation, basically. (I added her on myspace the day before we saw her, lol. Also, Amelia found me. Myspace, you're not a total waste after all.)

In other other news, I'm still pretty bad at hearts. Just sayin'.

Cake and boobs: two great tastes that go great together!



I love college.

Lol Creepy James yet again. He tapped me on the shoulder while I was waiting in line in the Caf. Unclean unclean

I'm FINALLY done with that goddamn paper. So he assigned another one of course. What a bastard. >:|

This class is trying to eat me alive.

In other news, 'Stina and I went to Walgreen's yesterday. I bought some black lipstick (lol, like I wear makeup) and a red spidery goblet thing. I love Halloween.

*drinks soda out of the goblet thing and acts really pretentious*

In other news, Creepy James was in English 300 today. He may or may not actually be in the class anymore (lol three weeks in). It would be pretty epic if he is.

Yay, my side of the room looks like someone lives here now. Someone scary, that is. XD

I'm so bad at explaining pansexuality. ;_; I inadvertently outed myself to one of my friends yesterday- she was cool and all, she just didn't know what it was- and I kind of flailed around trying to explain it. Fortunately, she's the kind of person who will either ask me again, or look it up (lol, fellow MAP scholar), so it's not really a problem, but still. I need a better way to explain it.

Part of the problem, I think, is that a lot of people aren't used to thinking of gender as fluid, so they don't really see how pan is any different from bi. (I mean, they're kinda the same, but kinda not.) And I'm not really equipped to explain gender to people at random, you know? :P

I dunno. It's just kinda frustrating that almost no one ever knows what pan means.

In other news, SAFE is putting up actually useful posters this year! With a room number and everything! :D

Also, the first week of classes is almost over. French and German are pretty much the same as before. (And lol, we're not going to have German for the next two weeks. I told Frau Diewald not to get sick this time) Sociology seems like it'll be okay. Advanced World Lit might be obnoxious, but it's hard to tell yet. The teacher's one of those... handwavey Trelawny-ish English teachers, if you know what I mean. And Intro to the Major is... informative. The teacher seems to trying to crush all our spirits. :\ Today was better than Tuesday. I think it's just one of those classes. You know, the ones that eat your soul a little.

Also, just because, here is a link to my Dragon Cave scroll again. I have a bunch more dragons now, including several rares! :D

Also also, lookit me new icon! XD

"You're wet."
"Yes, it's raining."

Lol, Montevallo. Rain and tornadoes on the first day of classes. Classy. Also, lol Creepy James again.



Also, I think I need an umb-er-ella, ella, ella, ella.

Hahaha, I love giving the random people we (Christina, Charity, and I) talk about nicknames. We've just renamed someone Douchemobile. It's fitting.

Currently, we're watching Rocky Horror (and mentally pasting Batman characters in) and mocking Twilight. Good times.

Well, I'm back at school. :D Charity, Christina, and I watched some BTAS. <3 Riddler and his silly faces in Riddler's Reform. I'm currently curled up on my tiny prison issuedorm bed (pillow-top mattress pad for the win) half-watching Sweeney Todd.

Life is good again. :3

GUYS. GUYS GUYS GUYS. LOOK! First at 0:13. IT'S CREEPY JAMES!!! XD XD XD